The Netherfield Ball
by gweaz
Summary: A comical introduction to our favorite characters at Bingley's ball. All in the style of a Chaucer prologue. Totally random, but if you know Chaucer you might enjoy it.
1. Chapter 1

_The Netherfield Ball_

A country county rural in stature

Rich in gossip and vast with pasture

Is where these women and men do reside.

They have come to one place from far and wide.

What brings them here you may ask? But a ball

For their merriment, held in a great hall.

The walls of Netherfield had never seen

Such a large number of guests all so keen

To dance and eat. Never was there a more

Lively group to fill its dazzling dance floor.

Though I cannot tell you of every one,

I will choose a select few, just for fun.

These are those I find the best of the best,

They are more interesting than the rest.

If I might fail to give each his full due

Please forgive, words cannot give honor true.

No description can easily suffice,

For each person is one which no device,

Especially my own words can convey.

So I'll begin, good sirs, without delay.

_Elizabeth's Mother_ is the first I'll describe.

She often will get lost in diatribe.

She can go on for hours without a break,

One little flaw is all it will take.

Always one who will add to the gossip,

Her many crude comments sting like a whip.

Mrs. Bennet's poor nerves are always on edge,

Feeling as though she is left on a ledge.

Propriety's certainly not her forte,

Mrs. Bennet is one who likes her Port.

She's known to embarrass many a man

By shouting out loud their financial plan.

With five daughters at home, all nearly grown,

And a house that, once widowed, she won't even own

Mrs. Bennet needs to do what she can.

But, I can't say, that she hadn't a plan.

She'd find a husband for one of her girls,

One who is rich and would give her some pearls.

Then she'd live at their beautiful estate

When her dear Mr. Bennet meets his fate.

A/N: This was a Brit. Lit. assignment I had, but I thought that all you P&P people out there would like it, so here it is…

If you are wondering what the assignment was, it was to imitate Chaucer in his style of character descriptions like the prologue to the Canterbury Tales.

There will be more characters, Mr. Collins and Mr. Bennet are up next.

Tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Entailed, I said, is the Bennets' abode.

Once the master's dead, as said in the code,

Not one Bennet daughter will inherit

The house. Instead, a man with no merit,

Mr. Collins, he's called, will undertake

Mr. Bennet's position in his wake.

A greater change there couldn't have been,

For comparing the two would be a sin.

Both gentlemen present at Bingley's ball,

Their different dispositions clear to all.

_Mr. Collins_ is the next on my list,

And he is one who surely can't be missed.

Collins is a very religious man.

Recite the Bible, I assure, he can,

He knows its every prayer, psalm, and line.

Searching for a wife, with whom he can dine

Is what brought this principled Collins here.

Now ten yards from me, he is much too near.

Lady Catherine de Bourgh, his patroness,

Told him to find a girl to clean his mess,

For he was as big a slob as could be.

He did so, for she was wise, he could see.

Of his patroness he can say no bad

She gave him everything. All that he had

Was due to her. His house and home, he said,

Were planned by her from every chair to each bed.

If our conversation may ever lull

He will fill it in, he's never dull.

He could talk for hours about Rosings Park,

That is where Lady Catherine sleeps when dark.

He talks of its numerous stair cases,

And will always mention the fire places.

He is very courteous all the time,

He can thank and praise us on a dime.

His compliments are written in advance

And he'll tell you them at any chance.

_Mr. Bennet, _by many called callous,

Is not always aware of his malice.

Although he doesn't realize his cruelness,

His wife's poor nerves hear it without dismiss.

Please don't think that I mean to say, of course,

That Mr. Bennet would strike her with force.

He is a gentle man, who loves his books,

Who, unfortunately, married for looks.

He lives in a small house with six females.

This, I assume, turned him toward tales.

No man, not even the best, could survive

Without distraction. Lucky to be alive,

He truly thanks God for Elizabeth,

For she's the only one he can speak with.

A/N: If you were wondering about the format, it is all in the style of Chaucer. Ten syllable lines, and every two lines rhyming. Rhyming about Pride and Prejudice was actually a lot harder than you would think!

To conclude this short little series are Elizabeth, Darcy, and our ever benevolent host Bingley. Please give me some feedback. I know these are short, but anything you have to say would be great!


	3. Chapter 3

_Elizabeth Bennet_ is one to admire.

A gentleman's daughter, she knows no higher.

Although shadowed in beauty by sister Jane,

Lizzy is the one with the greater brain.

Always reading for improvement of mind,

Eliza is one who's rarely behind.

Her quick wit and playful sarcasm

Easily sting those who can fathom.

Though she's critical, it's all in good fun,

Elizabeth can get a laugh from anyone.

'Cause not too pretty, dark haired and dark eyed,

Elizabeth is one who can easily hide

In a crowd such as this. Often she is missed.

Upon closer look, I see she is angel kissed.

A beautiful girl in her own right,

Miss Bennet's fine eyes could light up the night.

Because of her looks she is considered by many

A local beauty with virtues aplenty.

Among the guests attending the ball

Was one who viewed her as not pretty at all.

_Mr. Darcy_ had, at a prior dance,

Declined her hand on a previous chance.

He told a friend, Mr. Bingley, with tact,

That Lizzy was 'tolerable', in fact,

'Not handsome enough to tempt' such as him.

Darcy's not one who will dance on a whim

With someone such as her. Lowly she was,

At least as he thought. Soon, he'll lament, 'cause

Due to this overheard condemnation

Lizzy will dislike him without ration.

Darcy has been viewed as haughty and proud,

Not without reason; he is well endowed.

As master of Pemberley, he can boast

Of the nicest house on all of the coast.

Tall, dark and silent, much like a big tree,

Is why he is judged so critically.

His silence was taken as snobbery

Which at the beginning, I must agree

Was indeed a true fact and I'll tell you so.

As tall as he is, he's a fearsome foe.

And now I come, at last, to our good host.

He's a splendid man, far better than most.

_Charles Bingley_ is an outstanding chap.

He throws a great ball with little mishap.

For a kinder man it's fruitless to look.

Bingley does everything by the book,

Except, I must say, for falling in love.

Stating that Jane Bennet fell from above,

Poor Bingley was gone the second he saw

The beautiful face that held him in awe.

He was so in love that he failed notice

All around him. Her face was his lotus.

All is forgiven of this ball's host,

For his was the best of any who boast.

A/N: And that's all! I hope you enjoyed it, and saw the comedy. Anyway, whatever you thought, please let me know, I love feedback!

Even though this was the finished product of the assignment, I would love to write up some other characters if you guys would like some more. Please give me some suggestions of which characters you want to see and I would love to do them! I was actually disappointed that I didn't have enough time tosome ofthe characters. And... if I am really ambitious, I could even begin on the tales that they have... but that may not actually happen. We'll see, but remember, it is all based on the feedback that you guys give me, so don't forget to review:)


	4. Chapter 4

Dear lord, there she is in all her glory.

Although you may have heard her story,

There is bound to be those who don't yet know.

Our host's sister has found her Romeo.

_Miss Caroline Bingley _has her sights set

On one of the men we've already met.

Lucky for him, he knows her incentive.

Clearly, conversation's not her motive.

She sees herself as Mr. Darcy's queen

So she can take advantage of his green.

No more than gold digger extraordinaire

She'll only settle for this wealthy heir.

What a shame it is that she doesn't see;

Her marriage with him isn't meant to be.

For Mr. Darcy has eyes only for

Eliza Bennet whose sister's a whore.

'Cause of this fact, the two commonly clash.

Her company's as welcome as a rash.

Miss Bingley can be easily spotted

Zipping around, a fly to be swatted.

Her orange attire and her outrageous hats

Would be a welcome sight only to bats.

Many have said she resembles a duck.

And as rude as she is that's just her luck.


End file.
